New Life

We have been very busy around here lately it seems. Jake had surgery in December and was off from work for about 4 weeks so it was nice to have him home, but nice for him to go back to work...He was kinda getting cabin fever. Me and Jake went to Gatlinburg, TN in October for a little getaway and it was so nice and much needed. The holidays were good and busy. My sister Misty was down for Thanksgiving along with my uncle Kevin and his family so we spent as much time with them as possible. We spent our time between my family and Jake's as always. It was really nice this year.

We are expanding our little family to five in October. We are 10 weeks pregnant and starting to get over the shock of failed birth control...but I know Heavenly Father knows what he is doing! The kids started off February with ginvotistomatis or some crazy word like that....they had ulcers all in their mouths. Gums were bloody and swollen. Little Tripp couldn't even hardly see his teeth his gums were so swollen. Then Kenzie gets it a week later and finally starts to cut her two year molars on top at the same time as the ulcers. There was lots of crying and not just my children. Ha ha! Yes, emotional rollercoaster over at the Martin house. Then on Sunday I was so graciously coughing and apparently you can cough so hard that you pull a muscle in your back!!!!! Yes, It can happen and it did to me. Severe pain is all I can say. I went to the doctor and he put me on bed rest for 48 hours. How do you take care of two kids when on bed rest for 2 days and your husband is working nights!!!!!!! Well you call your mama who takes off work and keeps them. I don't know what I would do without my mama. I love her and my daddy, they are so supportive and they are always there to help me when I need them. They have been real lifesavers this week. My sister in law picked me up on Monday to take me to dr. and drove me all over town running errands, while Jake played Mr. Mom...which was very good for him and the kids. He doesn't do it very often and it was really nice for me!

My poor sister Heidi's kids are sick also. Shaylin has the ulcer's in her mouth and has lost 10 pounds so far...not that she didn't need to, she's a little on the chunky side :) Then Turner gets the flu and Heidi starts to run fever and feel awful. And Joey her husband is at work off shore for three weeks! We send each other whinny text all day long about our ills...then try to make jokes to keep our spirits up...being house bound is not for us!

So needless to say these past few weeks has been hard for me to get excited about this new little life coming into our family. One good thing has come out of it all...I got to hear the heartbeat on monday and that made it a little more exciting for me. I feel like a terrible mother, because I just don't want this baby right now. I know that it is just the terrible few weeks of cranky sick kids and mama...and little sleep that is contributing to the unwantedness of this tiny little miracle. I know that I will change my mind and I will love this little one just like the other two, But does that sound terrible for me to say! How horrible of a person am I for not wanting the greatest of all things the Lord could give me?